『 𝖆 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞. 』

『 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘. 』









『 may ten. may eighteen. 』

their story wasn’t your typically love story.

you know the one.

boy meets girl. they date. they fall in love. they get married. they live happily ever after.

their story was just a tad different. backwards, as he fondly likes to call it.

it began with a pug and two strangers meeting on a spring day. he was looking to be a little less lonely and he had a friendly face. it must be said that he could’ve decided to go for coffee instead, read a book, work on his homework. he could’ve decided to take another route, stayed at home and work on his lines. but as fate would have it, they would meet on the sidewalk, under the sunny sunny sky, a block away from his apartment.

it was may 10, 2018. and they were off to the silliest of beginnings. they didn’t exactly get along splendidly. or at least, not as you would’ve thought. it was awkward. he admits. as all first meetings were. while he likes to claim it was love at first sight. it wasn’t supposed to make sense. they weren’t likely to meet again after a horrendous start and yet, they did.

may 18, 2018. he has claimed it to be cupcake day. there was a knock on his door at around eleven. it was dark out. the stars had already scattered themselves across the night sky. he was hunched over his table, buried in his books. he was surprised to find him standing there, holding a box of cupcakes in his hands. there were three flavors. he remembers. vanilla, chocolate, and mocha. it was easier this time around. there was some flirting. well, alright. a lot of flirting. childish behavior on his part. a tickle fight in retort from the other.

except, suddenly, a kiss. their first. he remembers how soft his lips felt. how addicting and intoxicating he tasted. he wanted to take his breath away, to suck all the air from his lungs. he didn’t intend to go further, wanting to take his time, wanting to do it right.

but the teasing, the touching, the tension between them took over the rational part of his brain and before he could realize what was happening, their bodies were intertwined and their clothes fallen to the floor.

he took his breath away, with his flushed skin, red and purple marks blooming in contrast to the pale complexion, hair plastered against his forehead, soft whimpers and the sweetest moans he promised to remember forever. it was exhilarating. how perfectly he fit against him. from how gorgeous he looked when he cried out his name.

he was heavenly. he was everything. but as quickly as he was able to hold him in his arms, it was just as quickly taken away. he couldn’t explain it. it wasn’t supposed to affect him that much. but it did. and he couldn’t help the way his chest tightened as he watched him walk away. all he could do was hold on to the promise of his return.

『 june eighteen. 』

it was hard. those days without him. he ached to be next to him, to hold him, to wake him up with kisses and go to sleep wrapped up in his arms. he tried to understand it, tried to be patient, tried to bury himself in his books, and in his work just so he could get through the nights. he told himself that five seconds in a day were more than enough. five seconds in a day were all he needed but on some nights, they just weren’t.

he had a great love once. he remembers thinking she was his one. she made him happy, made him feel loved, made him feel complete. he thought she would be his forever. until she wasn't. and it left him with a broken heart, insecure of himself, unwilling to be put in that situation again. so he ran. always ran. whenever he started to let himself feel.

you only get one.

but this time, it was different. he fell so hard, so quick, so effortlessly. he just knew he would be worth all the risk. he made him brave. he made him believe again.

june 18, 2018. they sat in his apartment. beside each other. they hadn’t seen each other in a while.

he brought coffee and made scrambled eggs for two. he called him over. said his name. he always liked the way it rolled off his tongue. he stuttered—trying to tell him how he felt. how in love he was. but he was terrible with words. never the best with expressing his emotions. it might just have been the most awkward confession in his books.

still. he said yes. called him home with misty eyes and an almost sad smile on his face.

he remembers being confused. he remembers wondering how could an angel look so sad. he remembers the way the tears rolled off those soft cheeks. it made his heart twist. he tells him he was afraid. and in turn, he tried to reassure him of their love.

so they took that first step together. opened up a new chapter for just the two of them.

it wasn’t always easy nor was it ever perfect— love never is and he never claimed it to be. but it was enough. they always managed to make it work.

they always managed to find their way back home.

『 july seven. 』

ask him when he fell in love and he’ll tell you it happened on the seventh of july in the year two thousand eighteen at six fifty nine in the evening with the stars in the night sky there to witness the moment. they laid in the grass, tangled up in each other, hidden away from prying eyes. it was something on his bucket list and he was all too happy to oblige.

no star can be brighter than you.

ask him when he knew he was the one and he’ll tell you it was when he asked him why orion was his favorite constellation. no rhyme or riddle. he’ll tell you it was when he looked deep into his eyes and said those three words that made his heart run off. he’ll tell you it was when he caught his lips in a loving kiss, slow and steady, fingers running through his hair, hands on his hips.

you are captivating and mesmerizing.

ask him when he knew he wanted it to last forever. he’ll tell you it was when he asked him to marry him that day. indirectly. but that was typical. he always one to get ahead. and the funny thing is, he probably doesn’t even remember. (he would ask again just a week later when they hopped into a car and drove towards the orphanage for a visit but he probably doesn’t remember that either.) ask him and he’ll tell you it was when he felt his fingers against his bare skin, leaving touches in places that just drove him mad.

in a world with nearly eight billion people, we found each other.

he looked perfect under the moonlight. all too beautiful and magical and ethereal. the slope of his nose, the fullness of his lips, the shine in his eyes. he promised himself in that single moment that he would do everything in his power to give him everything he would ever want. move the moutains and part the seas. collect the stars. capture the moon. he promised himself that he would always be there for as long as he wanted him.


god, i love you, so much.

『 august thirty. 』

8:48 AM KST.

he stirred from his slumber as the sunshine’s rays stream into their bedroom, unable to help the smile from crossing his face upon finding him wrapped up in his arms, snuggled close for one of those rare lazy thursday mornings when neither of them needed to be away.

they spent that morning under the sheets, whispering sweet nothings, fingers running through his hair. he had his ear pressed to his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. he had his arms around his waist, holding him close, possessively even if it were just the two of them.

he cherishes those moments the most— with everything they have going on for them, both of them trying to achieve things, he finds comfort in getting a day or two away from the buzz of the city, laying quietly next to his greatest love, watching the world turn slowly. in those moments, everything just felt right.

8:49 PM KST.

he captured his lips in a kiss and called him beautiful. called him perfect. wonderful. adorable. incredible. and he watched his cheeks flush a bright crimson red. god, it was such a good look on him.

an even better look?

seeing him lying underneath him, breathless from each kiss— pliant, willing, wrapped around his finger in his little pink collar. watching the way his chest heaved and his body shuddered with excitement with each touch. hands running up and down his thighs like clockwork. memorizing every sweet curve of his body with the tips of his fingers. listening to his quiet pleas and tiniest whimpers, asking for more.

and he would always give him what he wanted.

you're all that i want and need. i am content and happy to call you mine.

so you see, sometimes they were sunshines and rainbows, soft kisses and warm hugs. sometimes they were a collision of electric charges, unable to resist the pull of the forces of attraction.

he wouldn’t change it for the world. they were perfect.

『 september one. 』

kim jaeyeong!

she called out his name.

he loved it when she did.

she walked up to him dressed in a white sundress and a million watt smile. her skin, sun kissed, and her eyes, big and bright. in that moment, amidst the crowd of people around her, all he could see was her.

it was always going to be her.

he felt his heart beat right of his chest. he took off, gathered her into his loving arms, and gave her a kiss. she was so beautiful that day.

she was beautiful every day.

he got her chocolates and a necklace with her initials on it. his read backwards. and they spent the day drowned in laughter. spoiled with sweet macaroons and candy pops. of stolen kisses in empty rooms. photos and memories to last them a lifetime.

jaejin was here.

she pushed him into the pool of sprinkles and he let out the ugliest of yells, cheeks dusted with the faintest shades of red, the same color of the walls around them. and naturally, he pulled her in next to him, arms snaked around her waist and a proud little smile across his lips as they sat square in the middle, surrounded by brightly colored ice cream toppings.

this was the kind of love between them. silly and fun and exciting. this was why he was so in love with her. life was always so serious. life was always so hard. life was filled with stressful nights and overwhelming overthinking. but she knew how to enjoy the little things.

you’re my favorite flavor.

he would later find sprinkles caught in his hair when he got home.

but that smile on her face on the wallpaper of his phone was worth it. she was, oh, so, worth it.

『 october twenty. 』

she stood in front of him in one of his shirts, only one of his shirts, which fell to the middle of her pale thighs. her fair skin looked luminous under the artificial light of his bathroom. she claimed the shirt was necessary to stop him from being distracted.

she wasn’t wrong. more often the not, he could barely keep his hands off her.

he crawled in to bed. it had been one of those days. she slipped in next to him, curled into his arms, hid her face into his chest, and breathed him in. she was so comforting. just having her next to him eased his heart.

he always struggled with telling people about things he was troubled with or insecure about, often finding himself bottling the emotions up and storing them away to deal with for another time. growing up, he had to. for the sake of himself and for his sister.

there was no time to deal with feelings when he had to make breakfast for two and send his little sister off to pre-school at the age of eight. there was no time to deal with feelings as a surgeon. he quickly learned emotions were messy. they needed to be tucked away neatly the moment you step into the operating room. you needed to be confident. there was no time for doubts about yourself.

but she quickly turned it around for him.

with her, he felt safe. thanks to her, he didn’t have to pretend or hide, didn’t have to be ashamed to be human. he felt like she would always be there, no matter what ugly demons roared their ungracious heads.

he still struggles— on most days— but having her next to him, made him feel like he didn’t have to face it all on his own.

i’m with you, every step of the way.

he hopes he does the same for her.

『 november eleven. 』

he recalled the time she first mentioned starting a family together. remembered the time she told him they could grow old together. he didn’t tell her then but the thought made him nervous, made his hands clammy, made him sweat. what did he know about raising a child. he barely made it out of his own childhood unscathed. his father was barely home. his mother was no where to be found either. all the parenting experience he might have gathered were likely from movies or books he read once upon a time.

but the more she eased him into the idea, the more he leaned into it.

she would make a wonderful parent. she was so tender, so affectionate, thoughtful, caring, sweet. she knew just what to say, even if sometimes you didn’t want to hear it. her eyes always lit up when they spoke about children from her sweet nephews, to the darling children they visited at the orphanage, to even her boss’ grandchild. there was one time she had the worse case of baby fever that she bought baby clothes.

she was so cute. it made him fall in love with her all over again.

still, he was worried. he was clumsy and paranoid and believed he was in over his head.

until he saw the look on her face. and honestly, that was all he needed to wash away his fears.

he imagined the two of them growing up in a big house, somewhere along the shore where they could watch the sunrise in the mornings and catch the sunset in the evenings. somewhere where they would have the loveliest view of the clouds and the stars and the waves as they crashed into the sand. a dog. two kids. one girl and one boy. areum and siwoo.

he imagined sunday mornings cuddled up in bed next to each other. peaceful and quiet. until their two bundles of chaos would come screaming into their room, yelling for waffles from daddy and kisses from mommy.

he imagined them growing old together. feeding the seagulls. he would run around chasing them until he was forty and she would continue giving him that look— always a mix of disbelief and fondness— and he would only laugh in return, scoop her up into his arms and give her a sweet kiss. tell her she loved him for it anyway.

the unknown is a scary thing but with her hand in his, he looked forward to every single minute that the future had in store for them.

『 december twenty. 』

christmas. their first of many.

he thought about bringing him out somewhere nice, somewhere with a view. that was always his request. nami island. bukhansan. seonjaryeong. but they settled on spending the holidays with family and at home, bundled up under the sheets in each other’s arms.

that day. it was cold out. december weather. they had both just gotten home from work. tired. drained. in need of a little love. he asked for a hug and a kiss. he took him in and held him tight, asked him about his day. he loved listening to his voice, good day or bad day. it just never felt right to let a day go by without asking him.

he was embarrassed. worried he would take it as a joke. but he simply took his hand and let him take the lead. he held him close, as close as he could, while they swayed to the steady beat of the music. just them two in their large empty apartment, decorated in fairy lights and colored stockings hanging on the ledge of their shelves, waiting to be filled with memories.

he claimed it was their song once. he hardly thinks he would argue. all he could ever think about was the most incredible man standing in front of him. all he could ever think about was spending every minute or every second holding him as he was then. taking care of him. loving him. living the rest of his life with him.

he would give up a thousand sunsets to dance with him again.

as the chorus played in the background, he just knew he was right. this felt right.

so he got down on one knee.

and the rest, as they say, is history.

all i need is you.

you see, their story didn’t have fairy tale princess beginnings.

but it was theirs. it was real. it’s what got them to where they were.

and he was absolutely in love with it.